Perfect in My Imperfection
I was reviewing more photos last night from my ‘Raw Vulnerability’ photo shoot and contemplating the release of another one. But I didn’t. I was scared. It wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t perfect.
…..none of us are perfect right? Well, last night…I felt I absolutely needed to be. I mean….my transition and embracing my creativity is incredibly important to me. My new project Emergence, in fact all my art, for me is about showing the beauty of imperfection. About showing the raw power and beauty of just being ourselves. So why was I questioning the beauty of my own imperfections? In fact…some of the most beautiful people I have met in my life are those who shine with the confidence of all aspects of themselves. So, we might have a scar or two or three…we might have big ears, little feet, wrinkles, boobs that are different sizes and shapes. We might have a crazy laugh, snore, wake up looking like we have had a fight with a goursebush….but these quirky imperfections are what makes you you.
Having gained so much support, respect, and visibility following the launch of Emergence 2 wks ago….you would think I would have been “OMG…I’ve done it…I’m living my dream… I have made the shift from corporate to creating…things are perfect”. But I was scared. Call it self sabotage. Call it whatever you like… but I had a moment of…I’m not worth all this attention. My ‘ego’, my ‘thoughts’ kicked in and whilst at the peak realising my goal…all I could think about was…my paintings are not good enough, I’m not good enough, what if I am just kidding myself…what if people see my scars, my wrinkles stand out….
The point of my raving is this…letting our fears, letting our insecurities and vulnerabilities take over is such an incredibly common thing. We all have them… And they so-o-o hold us back…if we let them. One minute I was like “Woo-hoo…I LOVE my life…I am awesome”. The next minute all I could think about was I was not good enough. Not pretty enough. Not talented enough. Enough for who…for what?? Subconscious fears surface when we are in flow…when things are awesome. The difference is whether we allow ourselves to be ruled by our fears, or be ruled by our heart. At our most confident, we are at our greatest vulnerability. At our strongest, we fear we are at risk of losing it all.
My scars…both emotional and physical tell stories. They represent an event or moment in my life. Our scars show others that they are not alone, that we all have things happen that leave an imprint on us permanently. What we need to decide though is simple…do we wear these scars with pride, or do we hide them….and ourselves for fear of judgement, for fear that people will not like us. My scars are part of me…and…I choose me. I choose to be proud.
So…lets embrace those thoughts that hold us down, hold us back…send them some love…and release them. The greatest injustice in life is letting ourselves limit ourselves. Let you be you…completely. Proud and confident. With all your perfect imperfections.